Cool People

     Role Models. Sure there are the Celebs and people of those sorts, but I'm talking about the guy in your english class who's not scared to say he went to the gay pride parade over the weekend, or the girl who's dad's in the hospital but still shows up to your book club meeting, those people who just inspire you.

    Being in school I've gotten a chance to get back around people my own age. People start to take on this sort of norm, a blank face in a crowd kinda thing. They all start to act the same, just people at school. But there are those few people you get to meet in your high school experience that just stand out among the rest, and not in that "Academic Excellence" kind of way. I mean in that wholesome I know who I am kind of way. I have two people in mind, and when I met them I knew I wanted to get to know them because they seemed like the kind of person I want to be.

     The first is a girl in my journalism class. She's this tiny thing and she's an amazing drawer, but she's awful shy. She's alway modest about her drawings. Once I asked to see her sketches and they were amazing. Period.

     Sometimes I feel like I'm a different person online than I am in the real world. I don't sit around talking about classical books, or understand references to underrated movies, or even drink as much coffee as I make out to. That's what's different about this girl. She seems to know what she likes and lets herself like those things wether she's with her friends or if she's putting things up online. She doesn't tuck away her hobbies when she's around her friends like I know I do. I wish I could be like that.

    The second girl is a senior, we're in three clubs together, and she's an english major. She's one of those bubbly girls that you just want to be around, but she's never annoying about it. I will admit my respect for her may be a little more fabricated because I don't really know her as well, but I don't think we should ever know our heros completely, that's what makes them heros. I'm pretty sure she's involved in almost every intellectual club our school's got to offer, has amazing grades, and looks adorable every day. (I don't really know about her grades but I imagine so)

     For me I have my spurts of awesomeness. One week I'll be all about my writing, then the next I'm all about my wardrobe, or this club, or some other thing. When I focus on something I do it well, but my problem is I have such a short attention span that I change my goals every three days or so. She's not like that. She seems all the way focused all the time. This girl knows what she wants to do with her life and I see her doing exactly that in a few years. I think I could be like that, joining all the clubs I want and things I want to do along with work and school and looking good, but it would take a painful amount of planning and probably more self control than I have.

     I look up to these girls for very different reasons, but I know I want to be like both of them in some way. Seriously whenever I get a chance to be in a group or walk to class or chat with either of them I try and take it.

    Talk of role models has been wrung dry, but I think there is one little bit of advice left to give. Our role models shouldn't be these nameless, abstract people like Oprah, or Natalie Portman. They should be people we can meet, talk to, observe, have dinner with, and learn from.

Two weeks of school.

     

 There seems to be an endless supply of crap that I SHOULD be doing. I'm trying really hard to keep on top of my school goals and things but I won't say it's easy. With all the homework and working 20 hours a week I'm not having ANY time to write except for my nightly journal entries. That's really not sitting well with me because I'm getting all these awesome ideas and bits from school that I'm not able to make in a story.
    The first five days of September have gone by so fast and the streak of 100 plus temperatures has finally broken. Today was actually around 85 with wind and it felt AMAZING. I'm really liking all my classes right now. My Journalism is kinda a blow off class which really sucks because I know we could get so much more done if we didn't spend half the class talking about what everyone did over the weekend. I feel like that's how all the cool elective classes are going to be. Wouldn't that be why everyone likes them so much? What ever happened to wanting to take a class so you can learn things? I'll never be able to understand how people can take a class for the sole reason of it being a blow off class.
     So far on my weekends I sleep as long and as hard as I can. I'm only getting around 25 hours of sleep per night during the week, so weekends are my time for sleep.
     I'm also having to do this crazy thing called studying now. Before I could just read the materiel and things like that and be good. Especially in my AP world history class I need to study. I think world history is the dumbest thing ever. Let's put everything that has happened EVER and spend two semesters going over it all. What sucks the most is studying for math for one reason. The only way to study it is to do tons and tons of problems. In English you can do flash cards, or read over things, or look at notes, or a number of different options. In Math all you've got are the odd questions with the answers in the back of the book and the mid-chapter quiz from the book. It's also making me mad that the math book we use for Algebra 2 doesn't have a companion website. You don't know how helpful it would be to have someone explain a concept out on a video or something.
    Sorry I guess I'm ranting about high school, but that seems to be the only thing going on in my life right now.
     I don't know how I'll manage doing NaNoWriMo come November. That GTD book sounds helpful but I haven't really put anything into pratice yet. We'll see how it goes and I'll be sure to keep ya'll updated on writing and other things in my life. Till next time :D

How becomming a Writer has Ruind my hope for Humaniy

If you're a writer you know all about the three act structure. Act 1: things start out normal. Then something happens giving your character a story goal(Disaster 1). Act 2: your character grows in skills and builds and burns relationships all the while in pursue of their story goal. Then something else happens. Something bad that completely changes how your character will reach their story goal(Disaster 2). Act 3: your character accepts the changes(or not) and learns grows, builds and destroys relationships, and works toward his story goal ether with a new approach or the same. Then something huge happens. Something that makes your character's story goal seem impossible(Disaster 3). Ending: your character comes up with a new way to reach story goal. He ether reaches it or he doesn't. The end.
Now you may be thinking. "what's so bad about that? Seems like a good story?" Well here's the answer. Every movie, fiction book, TV show, or short story is written with this three act structure in mind. By knowing this cookie cutter outline for stories absolutely kills things. I'll say I don't even watch movies anymore because I'm always thinking of the three disasters. This also kills my confidence in Imagination. Forget new and exciting! Here's something you should know: There are no new Ideas. Only recycled ones.
Here's another thing becoming a writer has killed for me: talking to people. Why? Because I've to to know people's motives for doing EVERYTHING. I watch my friends and some comments or actions just stick with me until I'm able to discover their unintentional motives. And here's what I've accumulated from this mountain of observations. 1) People Love themselves 2)People love other people Loving them and 3) Jealousy is every where.
How bout an example? My friend and I were discussing a Vocabulary quiz I had missed in English. She said "Me and Kyle studied them a little and they were really hard." Now I studied these words and they didn't seem any harder than usual. Then the question dawned on me. "Why would she have to mention Kyle?" Took me days to mull this over. It didn't seem like an important fact until I remembered I had told my friend I liked Kyle earlier that week. BOOM! Motives = power + Jealousy. I'm sure she wasn't sitting there thinking "Oh let's make Hannah-Beth feel jealous and make me look good!" but is shows a little glimpse of my friend's subconscious. I do need to remember to tell my friend I don't like Kyle anymore but that's unimportant. The point is we are selfish people. In my "Writing Fiction for Dummies" book I read that no character thinks they're minor characters. We're selfish people with a hunger for dominance over something- anything really. I guess that's what motivates writers to write. Writers get a chance to play god, decide what happens. Power thirst.
I've also started obsessing over universal truths. Universal truths are things that apply to everyone. From the queen of England to the 9/11 terrorists. There's a ton of them. Some deal with social interactions (ex. People would rather be asked than told) while some deal with peoples wants (ex. No matter what you do people will always ask for more) I was watching the cooking channel when I realized why there were so many shows about cooking and books on cooking and Italian people who love cooking. It's because EVERYBODY eats-or at least needs to. It's why people get so motivated to donate to feed the children. They couldn't imagine what it would be like to not have this thing they share with everybody. Eating. Now using these universal truths can throw a huge curve ball at your readers making them feel unified with people but these can also make your reader feel blurred and unimportant. Universal truths work well as themes for novels, but you should always keep them in mind when you're writing.
So there you have it. Humanity consists of a bunch of Self centered, power hungry, unimaginative, attention whores. But It's the people who are different who stand out from the crowd though.